Funny Answers

Your Wi-Fi isn't slow. It's just practicing mindfulness. It's taking time to appreciate the journey of each data packet rather than rushing to its destination. Sometimes your router also gets performance anxiety when too many devices are watching, so it needs a moment to compose itself.

Cats purr because they're actually tiny diesel engines disguised as pets. The purring sound is them idling while they recharge their alien surveillance equipment. That's why they always seem to be judging you. They're filing reports back to their home planet about your strange human behaviors.

Yawning is actually a primitive form of telepathy. When someone yawns, they're secretly trying to upload their thoughts to your brain, and your yawn is the loading screen. This is why people cover their mouths when they yawn. To prevent their deepest secrets from escaping!